My mum has a new boyfriend?

16 answers · 5 days ago
I really need some advice: March 2017 my parents split up, Me (14 at the time), my mum and my 4 yo sister moved 4 hours away. It was all weird to me at the time but things were getting better we saw my dad once a month and although it wasn't much we talked most days on FaceTime. In mid 2018 my dad moved to a town 20 minutes from me and we see each other a lot more which is great but for a few months I had supisions of someone my mum was seeing, I questioned her about it and she denied it and said they were old friends, so I left it. Then a month later one night my mum sat me down and told me that they had started seeing each other. I was a mix of sad, angry, hurt and confused. My mum talks to her boyfriend every night on the phone, I hate it. She always goes around to his house when I'm at my dads. I'm very upset and I really don't want to met this guy but she says she wants him to come into her life and I think she means move in. I told her how I felt and she didnt day much but she did say that nothing has really changed for me. I am getting very angry with everything because I don't want another man besides my real dad in my life.
Could someone please give me some advice? Thanks

Answers

She is just dating him, he isn't moving in and they aren't getting married. That could change someday, but it isn't what is happening right now and your life is mostly unaffected. Getting upset over hypotheticals isn't productive and you are only hurting yourself. This guy is never going to be your father and nobody expects you to see him that way. All you have to do is be polite and civil, you aren't obligated to have a relationship with him at all. You may even end up liking the guy. Having another adult in your life you can rely on or turn to for support isn't a bad thing, he could prove useful to you.

Worst case you could go live with your dad. You are old enough to make that decision. Though realistically, he is going to start dating again too, maybe he already is. Change is coming whether you like it or not. You can make yourself miserable fighting the inevitable, or accept it and make the best of the situation.
Anonymous · 5 days ago
Yep there's not much you can do about it, if he isn't abusive or anything bad like that then why are you so upset? Your mom is allowed to do what she wants.
Anonymous · 5 days ago
not nnuch you can do about it, nnaybe you can go live with your dad if you dont want to live with her boyfriend
Anonymous · 5 days ago
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Anonymous · 1 day ago
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Anonymous · 2 days ago
Grow up and stop being a baby

SO what if she has a new BF, that is non of your concern, she is an adult and you need to stop behaving like a small child. You have no right to be mad, angery or anything. She has a RIGHT to speak to her BF all she wants, she has a right to have him over.

She wants to move on but you don't want her to, you want her to baby you and coddle you and don't want her to be happy.
Anonymous · in 24 hours
There will be another man besides your Dad coming into your life. It is essential, however, that you clarify with your Mom that there is no "moving in" unless/until you have gotten to know this other man and like him. Be as open as you can.
Anonymous · 2 days ago
Do you really expect your mom to stay single the rest of her life? I hope not. Your mom is just dating someone for now. The relationship may never get serious but if it does, you will have to get used to it. Put your big boy pants on and realize that both your parents deserve to be happy.
Anonymous · 4 days ago
Okay?
Anonymous · 5 days ago
amkkokoe
Anonymous · 4 days ago
Now you have a new daddy
Anonymous · 3 days ago
unxahmvu
Anonymous · 3 days ago
get over it, this is part of life

if you are all hung up over this ,, you will be screwed for life,, while it not much to worry about,,,,
Anonymous · 4 days ago
Your mother has the right to be happy and you don't have the right to deny her that. Yes, the change is difficult for you. It doesn't mean you would have to love your dad less or even that you have to like/love the guy your mother is seeing. All you have to do is be civil to him. No one expects you to love him like you do your dad. You may have been secretly hoping that your parents will get back together, but that rarely happens. You need to ease up on her.
Anonymous · 4 days ago
You don't need a relationship with him. But be happy for ur mom and maybe one day u will want a relationship with him.
Anonymous · 4 days ago